“The term “Black Friday” originated in Philadelphia in reference to the heavy traffic on that day. More recently, merchants and the media have used it instead to refer to the beginning of the period in which retailers go from being in the red (i.e., posting a loss on the books) to being in the black (i.e., turning a profit).”  Thanks Wikipedia!

Black Friday is the most insane of all insane sale days.

Oh, yes it is!

So, Thanksgiving morning, the newspapers and mailboxes are full of the store brochures advertising their specials.  So those who say that Thanksgiving is all about giving thanks and ALL about the turkey….. they’re lying!

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE SALE PLANNING!

It takes you all day to go through the damned brochures and I finally bit the bullet and set up a spread sheet.  I know.  I KNOW!

So, the sales start at different times and are all over the freaking place, so you have to carefully plot your course, however there are some traps for young players!

Sears opens at 4am and has all the kitchen appliances a girl could ever need at never to be seen again prices. J C Penney opens at 5am, Kohls at 6am etc etc  Walmart sale starts at 5am, however Walmart are open all night and if you are keen on something at Walmart (ie: TomToms for $59 and $89), you really should stand by it all night to make sure you get one once they release the goods.

Obviously there are choices to be made and many risks to be taken!

We learned by accident that if you want one of the most popular sale items from Walmart, they sell tickets at 3am… but getting a ticket doesn’t mean you can leave, in fact if you go missing for more than 15 minutes, you lose your spot. Harsh.

One solution I learned from a serious Black Friday shopper (while standing for 3 hours in the TomTom line) is to  co-ordinate with friends and family.  She had people EVERYWHERE in that fucking store.

You also need a runner for snacks, coffee and to stand in line for you for pee breaks.

We had to do a run home after being at Walmart to empty the car for another  stab at the sales.  We’re setting up house, ok???

So, Walmart shoppers, what bargains did YOU grab on Black Friday?

***Photo courtesy of Black Friday 411***

This is where things can become either frustrating, comical or both. I have come across many methods of customers attempts to convey these measurements to me, however the following are my favourites:

The ‘How Long is a Piece of String’ method – the customer digs around in her handbag and pulls out a piece of string. There are two knots in the string, one represents the width of the window, the other represents the drop. Two problems with this method….. which end is the starting end? Which knot is which?

The ‘Elastic Fantastic’ method – similar to the ‘How Long is a Piece of String’ method, except there are no knots. Fully stretched is the drop and half stretched is the width. HALF stretched? What the fuck is HALF stretched?

After 30 years in the industry, a customer finally came in with a new method. YAY!

The ‘I’m a Fucking Moron and Still Confuse Feet with Metres’ method – customer still has a handbag, but this time a piece of paper makes its way to the surface. OMG! A piece of paper! This looks REALLY promising! My elation was, however, short lived!

The customer tells me the width is ’3 feet’ plus ’89′. OK, I’m flexible, I can do imperial measurements…. but what is this ’89′ shit? Is it 89 mm? 89 cm? 89 inches?

The customer asks me to show her a measuring tape and she will explain it to me. I show her the tape and she gives me all sorts of grief about it being metric. Of course its metric! We went metric in Australia 41 years ago FFS!

OK, harsh I know, but sometimes customers are just plain STUPID!