I’m unemployed….

and dammit, I didn’t want to leave.

I haven’t been able to say that for a very, very long time.  I have never enjoyed a job as much as I have enjoyed ths one.

As it happens, it was under the best of terms.  I resigned a few weeks ago, as we are moving overseas, and today was my last day.  It was a very emotional day today.  I had work to finish off and a couple of clients to see, so I was kept busy, but at around 3pm I got ‘the card’.  Thats when I turned into a complete wreck.  Thanks S!

Did I tell you I have the best job in the world?

V and S, I love you, and sincerely hope we can work together again one day.

I wish for wonderful things for you and your family.  Tonight I’m having WAY too many Cruisers, listening to old vinyls and remembering the fun times we’ve had.

So, when can we expect a visit from you?

Recently a friend from Twitter asked me to do some work for her and for the job I had to use the ‘expertise’ of a second party to fulfill her needs.

I asked for sample colours of a particular fabric to be sent in certain shades for her to select from.

I received them and sent them on to her.

She was delighted with a particular colour, which I immediately ordered for her.

Insert Murphy here.

I took Brad to work with me the following morning and he was answering the phone while I was doing some paperwork.  I could hear this “I think you should talk to Kerri”….. “No, I really think you should talk to Kerri”… “No, no, you need to talk to Kerri”.

I took the phone and there was a very agitated man on the phone.

“I’m really sorry”

I wait for the bomb to drop.

“I’m really, really sorry”

Uh huh…

“I sent you a sample that wasn’t available.  That fabric is out of stock and discontinued.”

I’m sorry… WHAT??  I asked you for current stock and you went and cut a piece off a fabric that wasn’t actually there?  How does that work?

*eye starts to twitch*

OK, so what other colours do you have?  THIS one?

“No, it’s discontinued too.

How about THIS one?

“Um…. … can I call you back? “

Sure… why the hell not, I’m not getting any younger and I’m sitting here getting nowhere.

Ten minutes later I get the promised phone call.  It’s his boss.

“Hi Kerri, I’m really sorry”

Uh huh

“I’m really, really sorry”

Oh Jebus, here we go again.  Stop grovelling, get some balls, and find me the fucking fabric!

So, long story short, I lost the order, have probably lost a future customer, completely lost my sense of pride in my work and have lost a good chunk of my reputation with it.

All because of one incompetent nincompoop!

The picture at the top of this page was taken from this site.  I would like to stress that this company had NOTHING to do with the above debacle.

I love doing what I do, I visit people in their homes, play with fabric and colours and walk out with a handful of money. Cool huh?

The best bit is when a customer cancels an appointment and there is little to do. This morning is an example of that.

I work for a crazy, loveable couple (S & V) who treat me and my family like their own family. This could be an issue for a lot of people in the workplace, but for us it works like a dream, mainly I think, because there is so much respect on all sides.

S & V have a young family who I have seen grow since birth and have done the odd babysitting adventure for them. My son has helped S on a few jobs with some labouring work, and we have socialised with them, their friends and family. V makes her special Czech dumplings just because she knows my husband loves them. We are all pretty good mates outside the workplace.

So, back to today.. S arrives and I am playing on Twitter, he comments “ah, working hard already are we?” I grunt and nod while shoving a pack of chocolate chip cookies in his face. He responds “My turn to make coffee then?” I grunt and nod again, refreshing the Twitter page. He knows me too well, I am NOT a morning person!

My first appointment had cancelled the night before, so I had a couple of hours to kill.

S arrives with coffee (hazelnut flavoured today) and he gas bags without taking a breath we chat about the Real Estate he and V were looking at over the weekend.

I start to do some actual work and note with some smug satisfaction that this is the case and he throws me a shocked look “Hell, we can’t have that! More coffee?”

Gotta love the man!

V, I don’t know how you put up with him, you are a saint!

P.S. When the work is on, we all run around like blue ass flies…. REALLY! LOL

This is where things can become either frustrating, comical or both. I have come across many methods of customers attempts to convey these measurements to me, however the following are my favourites:

The ‘How Long is a Piece of String’ method – the customer digs around in her handbag and pulls out a piece of string. There are two knots in the string, one represents the width of the window, the other represents the drop. Two problems with this method….. which end is the starting end? Which knot is which?

The ‘Elastic Fantastic’ method – similar to the ‘How Long is a Piece of String’ method, except there are no knots. Fully stretched is the drop and half stretched is the width. HALF stretched? What the fuck is HALF stretched?

After 30 years in the industry, a customer finally came in with a new method. YAY!

The ‘I’m a Fucking Moron and Still Confuse Feet with Metres’ method – customer still has a handbag, but this time a piece of paper makes its way to the surface. OMG! A piece of paper! This looks REALLY promising! My elation was, however, short lived!

The customer tells me the width is ’3 feet’ plus ’89′. OK, I’m flexible, I can do imperial measurements…. but what is this ’89′ shit? Is it 89 mm? 89 cm? 89 inches?

The customer asks me to show her a measuring tape and she will explain it to me. I show her the tape and she gives me all sorts of grief about it being metric. Of course its metric! We went metric in Australia 41 years ago FFS!

OK, harsh I know, but sometimes customers are just plain STUPID!